AM COMPLETELY..FRIGGIN...PISSED OFF

I AM SO PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW. My WoW folder has completely and totally decided to be a stuck up sfdkjgvbkhabhb...and is now beyond repair. I can't access WoW..and I can't get in..or do any bloody thing. I am this close...THIS CLOSE..to saying f-and so on...AAND..my brother can't bring his laptop apparently coz its too FAR...SOME FRIGGIN BIRTHDAY THIS IS...i hate it currently. WHAT THE HELL..........

Well, not about Beauty and the Beast after all

Just a random post i guess. I don't have the energy to invest right now in a whole detailed B&B post. Consider me lazy. Totally random, but blogwalkers.........I don't quite know what to say about you lot. I don't want nor intend to be mean or anything, but if you are gonna walk on someone's blog, please don't leave the same message everytime?Or perhaps say something relevant? Unless its an automated thing or something..then I don't have any comments. BUT to see the same(if not slightly different in wording or language) message everytime i check my blog, can be a little...irritating. Especially if I might be having the mother of all bad days. Makes me think to hell with checking blogs. But like I said, if its an automated thing, I desist. Not your fault anyway, and I can understand people wanting others to check out their blogs.

Haven't been in much of a good mood lately. I can't tell if its just random mood swings or a build-up of other problems. I suspect the latter. Which makes me moody at best and downright annoyed at the worst. Which is putting it rather mildly. If everytime you hurt, you can see some injury of some sort, it would be so much easier coz you know what and where you have to treat. But when there's no visible evidence...makes it rather tough to pinpoint the problem.

Well, the main point is, I'm not in my best condition. I need a break=.='''...from everything and everyone.  Best way would be to go home where my parents are. Which ain't possible now. Maybe on my birthday I will go on a trip by myself to somewhere I've really wanted to goXD..sounds much more promising. At least I have something to look forward to. Yay!

I'm not completely sure what that Chinese character means(and I'm supposed to I think) but the expression is good enough

I will be so so so glad to go back to Brunei when the year ends, where everything is much cheaper, the food better, I know where I stand there and most importantly, where my family is. Home is where the heart is after all.

Quotes.

You know, out there, there's like so many sweet quotes. A heck lot. Some of them make me cringe. Some of them make me stare. And some of them just make me go awww..or they give me the 'flash'. I believe that's what Emily of New Moon called it. A strange beautiful feeling that you only get when you see or hear or think certain things. It's called a flash because, it comes upon you just like a flash of light, brief but beautiful. And remains a memory. I saw one earlier, and one part of the quote was something i felt was meaningful
--->
"When I say goodbye, promise me you won't cry. Cause the day I'll be saying that would be the day I die"

It's not the words as much as the sentiment behind it that makes me feel something. It's a promise, that the only goodbye said will not be a goodbye made of changed decisions or something that is short term, but rather that it will only be said when things beyond human control happen. I didn't explain that very well, but oh well, at least i know what I meant. One could argue I suppose, that the person could die tomorrow, which is true. But most people do not expect to die until they grow old, and that's what makes this promise so beautiful. It's promising the rest of their life, no matter how long it is, to be with the other.

And there's another, it goes like this

If I could be any part of you

I'd be your tears

To be conceived in your heart

born in your eyes

live on your cheeks

and die on your lips

Okay, its nice. Really. It caught my eye. But I didn't like it a bit for one reason. If I wanted to be a part of the person, I really wouldnt want to be their tears. Reason being, the major reason tears come into someone's eyes would be because they were very sad, and they hurt. I wouldnt want to be something that made a person sad, if you can understand what I'm trying to say. However, I am not saying that it is not meaningful or nice. It is. And I do like it

I made my own version of it though.

If I could be a part of you,

I would be your laughter.

To be conceived from your heart,

Born of your joy,

To live in your eyes,

And die on your lips.

                            - James Lucian Caldwell-

                                                                                                                    © Carol



Copyright claimed:D:D..today at 05/09/2011. I made it earlier than that, but who cares. Who's James you might ask. Well, he's a character I created specifically to say that. Imagination rules. But, I really do like my version better, not just because I made it, but I would rather be someone's joy. I want that someone to be happy. Aaaand..bad at explaining again. Haha

Anyways, still havent slept.I mean, I did sleep in the time between my previous post and this one. I just haven't slept yet today. 7.12 am, doing assignments...and taking a break to blog:D..which i reaaaally shouldn't be doing. And Kimberly isn't responding to anything, I've called, msg-ed and fb posted. She has tests this week. Three in fact. And I get that. Just wish she would respond so that I know she is alright at least. sigh. AND I WANNA TALK TO HER....

I should totally not sleep and continue doing my assignment..which I'm gonna do for say..another hour. Then i'll sleep for awhile.

And I just saw another quote. This one is definitely a 'flash' one depending on your personal preference. But for me, it holds a lot of feeling

 I had a dream last night. You were there. I tried to hide you but they came to take you away. I tried to wake myself up to stop the pain, I never did. But I want you to know, I died fighting.

I can't explain this one. It's up to you if you get the feeling.

There's a few more below

1. If ever I was given the chance to start my life all over again, I would rather not accept it. Why not? Who knows? In that second start, I may not have known you at all.

2. I used to wonder why I can’t seem to find the right person. I even asked God why he wouldn’t allow me to commit myself to anyone. It took me years to know the answer. God wanted me to wait for you and you alone.

3. Someone asked me a while ago to give him one good reason why I love you so much. I smiled and said, 'Because there's no reason not to.'

Oh..this is a LOL one...I mentally facepalmed. I thought it was supposed to be some reassuring quote.

 If you find yourself in a dark room, walls around you are red and blood comes from everywhere, don’t be scared. You’re inside my heart.

And this one is strange. Not that its strange in the sense that it makes no sense. But its just..strange. It's strangely poignant too.

Peterpan came one night and invited me to Neverland where I can never grow old. I was about to go but I refused cause I thought of something better to do. That is to grow old with you.

Call me a romantic but *shrug*. I'll probably be waxing lyrical about Beauty and the Beast on my next post. God knows I feel like it^^

Headache killing me. Need sleep. Still a zombie.

RAWR~

i am DYING..DYING...damn university

oh my GOSH...the deluge of assignments is just MAD..just finished one on monday and didnt know i had one more due oh..today?until like..2 days ago.WHICH-IS-NOT-ENOUGH-TIME.i can't absorb anything in such a short period of time so i know what i've written until now is just CRAP. for some weird reason, i was under the impression that the report i mentioned was due NEXT WEEK. ohemgee..i am so fricking dead. when i discovered that fact on wednesday, i already had, two quizzes due wednesday and thursday, one chinese assignment gone wrong(mixed up the dates), one peer review AND a poster project due on Monday, a language quiz later in about..oh..5 hours?not to mention the other homework due next wednesday AND the two midsemester tests that i have next wednesday and friday. So officially screwed now.

I.AM.SO.SCREWED.

I am THIS close to just screaming like an idiot. i have no idea how im going to cope. And what's worse, i know there are people who would look at the stuff i have to do and go MEH..just that?oh gosh, you may be right, BUT i didnt do statistics..so i have no effing idea what the statistics in my report are supposed to be like. t-tests and what the blah blah blah. If my language is a bit short and annoyed now..yeah, well, i have reason to be. and i havent slept. At all. And not planning to until i finish the report. Which would be about 15 hours from now. And then I'm going to conk out like someone just took a cudgel to my head. I'm not even going to play WoW. <----that sentence just guaranteed that the earth turned square. Go look. You probably need your eyes checked if you can't see it.

On a whole other random note. Yesterday's sunset was just WEIRD..beautiful, i admit..but weird. The sun was red. like..really red...this red..but much brighter. And what was weirder was that i could actually see the sun setting..as in, see it moving down really quickly. It's not like other times where I look, the sun doesnt move but when i look away and look back, it moved. It was like moving before my eyes. And just to clarify, Ive never seen that happen before, so pardon me if it's only me. It was still freaking cool. It went below the horizon in like..10 seconds..give or take a few.

I'm too tired and lazy to correct any grammar mistakes such as apostrophes and capital 'i's..Truly, I dont swear much, except in my head without thinking. But something an acquaintance of mine said before really puts my thoughts in perspective. My thoughts regarding all that work i have to do. 'There is not enough middle finger in this whole world to express just HOW MUCH i HATE -insert object/occasion/whatever you desire to put -'
In my case, it's my assignments. Heck yeah there isnt enough to express how much I hate them. I wish someone would blow up my university. When I'm not there.

Zoning out like a true zombie...